Continuing the Conversation

This blog is based off of thoughts and reflections resulting from last week’s CCFM blog by Chris Johnson: How not to hijack your youth. So – if you haven’t read that, you should do that now, that way we’re all on the same page. Go ahead…. follow the link. I’ll wait.
 Alright. Let’s go.                                                         
After reading Chris’s blog, one of our comrades in ministry wanted to know, what we would do if one of these conversations with the youth turned sour. He raised two specific scenarios that I will now address:
Scene 1 – They don’t all see the light on their own.
So you give them the song lyrics and have them discuss it… and some of them decide there’s really nothing too terrible about it. What do you do?
Continue the conversation. Ask them to explain why there’s nothing wrong with it. Ask other youth to explain why they think there is. You can facilitate a great discussion without dominating it. Maybe it doesn’t come down to everyone expressing unanimous consent that this song is bad for reasons A., B. and C. But, if the youth can collectively shed light on the darkness present in the song, you’re heading in the right direction.
In fact, I would argue that it might be better if they don’t all agree right from the get go. There are a lot of great questions to be asked if the young people know it’s a safe space to share their opinions. This is teaching them how to think critically and actually form an opinion, a skill much more valuable to them than you proving a point in this particular moment. As youth ministers, part of our job is to form them to navigate entertainment and social media. These are areas that the Church needs to speak into and bring faith-based thinking to. Having these sort of discussions makes that possible.  
Scene 2 – They see the truth that it’s bad, but argue that it’s not that bad, and they have the mindset of “it’s not like I’m going out and doing the things in the song or anything… so it’s not gonna hurt if I still listen to it.” What do you do?
Continue the dialogue again. Keep helping them process the song. Help them realize the influence that the things we listen to have on our lives. Have them put forward examples. And, let’s say at the end of the discussion, they’re still adamant that they’re going to do what they want and it won’t affect them. End things by letting them know you care about them and their relationship with God, and that’s the reason you’re bringing it up in the first place. Tell them the truth, that you wouldn’t want them to be ignorantly taken down a path that leads them away from Jesus. I loved Chris’s point blank question – “Is this going to lead you towards God or away from God?” They have to answer that. Even if it’s not out loud, they answer for it in their actions.
And just because the discussion is coming to an end, that doesn’t mean the conversation is over forever. Since you’ve talked about it, now the youth are aware of the song’s messages, and if they continue to listen to it, they’re primed for noticing how it affects their life. As a youth minister who sees them every week, you can bring it up again. You have the opportunity to hold them accountable, to help them be honest about the influence of certain songs, books, movies or tv shows. When you follow up, as an effort to encourage honesty and humility, you can speak from experience, sharing a time in your life where you were led away from God by a song or a show. Testimony is powerful, and there is a time and a place for it – it’s just not best used in a round table discussion.
Why is that? Because we have to respect our young people enough to let them think it through. After they’ve done that, and only after they’ve done that, can you have a real conversation about it. That’s the difference. If you’re just spoon-feeding them your opinion, they can’t have one of their own. And that doesn’t do them any good. They have to build their own foundation, a faith that is theirs. It’s a personal relationship with Jesus, which means it can’t be yours. But that relationship can’t be formed in a vacuum. We have to guide them and journey with them. That’s ultimately what ministry is – walking with people as they journey with Christ in His Church.
Christ tells us that we are the light of the world. But, if we’re just the standing in front of our youth, shining that light on a blinding, spotlight setting, then we’re doing them a disservice. Because as soon as we step away – when they walk out the door to go home, when they’re in the halls at school, when they graduate and move on with their lives – they’ll be in darkness, because we didn’t help them foster the light of Christ in their own hearts. It is our job to be servants of the Holy Spirit, to help Him enkindle the flame of Christ in the lives of our youth, not to just substitute our own.
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